This fails to impress me.

[Puffing and exhaling sounds]

I had to bear with a loud, remarkably affectionate solid shadow for over a decade already. Your efforts - the breathing into my ear and spook routine, both - are quite futile.

[Smacking thud]

Don't touch that again!

I AM THE MASTER OF THE MONSTER!

BOW TO MY MASTERSHIP.

ALL OF YOU!

( Picture taken by webcam and available. There is NO cut )